Hello Cyberspace
A few months ago, I set up a blog on here, muttering something in brief in a couple of articles about Microsoft's new ASP.NET editor, among other things. I never really had a vision for where that whole plan was supposed to go. I didn't consider my audience, and didn't have a focus on any particular topic. I just wrote.
This second time around, it will be painfully obvious to anyone reading that I haven't learned my lesson. I haven't created this site with the intention of following any theme in the posts, and it's not written with any particular demographic in mind. (marketing was never my strong suit)
It's up and running now because, same as before, I'm an opinionated person with a passion for writing and expressing myself. Sorry. I've tried over the course of the past six months to sit and output computer code like a machine while ignoring my own internal thoughts, and that approach hasn't worked for me. More often than not, keeping my thoughts to myself just builds them up, and sooner or later they come spewing out incoherently at someone I'm talking to, usually regarding some very lame topic. For those who haven't been witness to one of these episodes, it's a lot like Charlie on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, when he starts ranting about something.
Obviously, my thoughts need an output. I remember being quite an introvert in high school, but for an entirely different reason than why I'm an introvert now. In high school, I was quiet out of fear...fear that someone might recognize just how naive I was about everything. I didn't open my mouth for fear that my ignorance about everything would pour out in droves.
There was a period in college, and shortly after, when I wasn't introverted. I spoke out a lot, about anything I wanted, about whatever was on my mind. I suppose, at it's core, this was also out of fear...I was just afraid of not making an impression on people. I wanted to be remembered, gossiped about, hated, whatever...anything to engage people and learn about how to interact with people. Plus, there was booze, and a little social lubricant always helps the mental juices find their way to the tongue.
I'm more reserved these days, for two reasons: first, I tend to think about some fairly nerdy stuff, like solving computer problems. Second, and more importantly, I always consider my audience before opening my mouth. This might sound like the same kind of fear as high school: what if no one cares what I'm thinking about? I'd bore them by talking about it! You might be partially right. I might be using consideration for others' tolerance of me as a euphemism for my own terror of sounding like a boring geek. Naturally, I'm going to say that doesn't sound quite right...in most social situations, I don't feel afraid one bit.
In case you're reading this, let me reassure you...I won't be talking tech on here very much. I might point it out at times, to use it as an example that encompasses some larger point I'm prattling on about. I'm just on here to write. If any of these topics interest you, cool. If not, that's cool too. Feel free to post a comment about how annoying you think I am. I won't take it personally.
I'm really on here to vent...not out of anger, just out of an impulse to express myself. The world is a big and complicated place, and one thing I've learned is that the more certain I am that I understand a particular subject, the more of a greenhorn I am about that subject. Recently, I stumbled across some poker tip on the Internet and, after reading it, I thought, "That's just common sense, why did I just read that?"
Bullshit. I know a little bit about the theory of poker, but I've never sat down and dominated a table in real play. The fact is, I was inclined to dismiss the advice because I found it so elementary, and this is a bad thing. First off, a poker expert would welcome a revisiting of basic poker principles because they don't take any reinforcement of the basics for granted. They're just as important, if not more so, than the more advanced strategies.
And, more importantly, my initial reaction smacks of the fear I spoke of earlier. Even internally, I was remiss to acknowledge how little I really knew about poker. I think we all do this...we're hesitant to admit, especially to ourselves, just how little we really know. We'd like to think because we've suffered the agonies of high school, crammed our way through college, and spent a few years at some shitty real-world job that we know everything. This is understandable...my ego does protect me in a lot of cases, and it gets me out of bed each morning. It makes sense that it would try and convince me that I know everything about everything.
But real experts know their limits. They know what they don't know, and that's a large component of being an expert. It's a prerequisite to mastering any discipline: having that moment of clarity, when it dawns on you just how much you don't know. With that comes the humility to ask for help when you need it.
Okay, so this "Hello!" entry I decided to write ended up devolving into something that sounds like dialogue from an upcoming Karate Kid movie. My overall point is that I've been touching upon a lot of subjects about which I know very little, and I often find that when I start thinking about different topics, I want to explore them, and that's what I want to do on here. Talk about stuff. I'm eternally grateful that I've outgrown the phase in my life when I felt compelled to write about girls I had crushes on and stuff, a la the middle school years. My hope is that the topics will be slightly more sufferable.
Cheers!
This second time around, it will be painfully obvious to anyone reading that I haven't learned my lesson. I haven't created this site with the intention of following any theme in the posts, and it's not written with any particular demographic in mind. (marketing was never my strong suit)
It's up and running now because, same as before, I'm an opinionated person with a passion for writing and expressing myself. Sorry. I've tried over the course of the past six months to sit and output computer code like a machine while ignoring my own internal thoughts, and that approach hasn't worked for me. More often than not, keeping my thoughts to myself just builds them up, and sooner or later they come spewing out incoherently at someone I'm talking to, usually regarding some very lame topic. For those who haven't been witness to one of these episodes, it's a lot like Charlie on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, when he starts ranting about something.
Obviously, my thoughts need an output. I remember being quite an introvert in high school, but for an entirely different reason than why I'm an introvert now. In high school, I was quiet out of fear...fear that someone might recognize just how naive I was about everything. I didn't open my mouth for fear that my ignorance about everything would pour out in droves.
There was a period in college, and shortly after, when I wasn't introverted. I spoke out a lot, about anything I wanted, about whatever was on my mind. I suppose, at it's core, this was also out of fear...I was just afraid of not making an impression on people. I wanted to be remembered, gossiped about, hated, whatever...anything to engage people and learn about how to interact with people. Plus, there was booze, and a little social lubricant always helps the mental juices find their way to the tongue.
I'm more reserved these days, for two reasons: first, I tend to think about some fairly nerdy stuff, like solving computer problems. Second, and more importantly, I always consider my audience before opening my mouth. This might sound like the same kind of fear as high school: what if no one cares what I'm thinking about? I'd bore them by talking about it! You might be partially right. I might be using consideration for others' tolerance of me as a euphemism for my own terror of sounding like a boring geek. Naturally, I'm going to say that doesn't sound quite right...in most social situations, I don't feel afraid one bit.
In case you're reading this, let me reassure you...I won't be talking tech on here very much. I might point it out at times, to use it as an example that encompasses some larger point I'm prattling on about. I'm just on here to write. If any of these topics interest you, cool. If not, that's cool too. Feel free to post a comment about how annoying you think I am. I won't take it personally.
I'm really on here to vent...not out of anger, just out of an impulse to express myself. The world is a big and complicated place, and one thing I've learned is that the more certain I am that I understand a particular subject, the more of a greenhorn I am about that subject. Recently, I stumbled across some poker tip on the Internet and, after reading it, I thought, "That's just common sense, why did I just read that?"
Bullshit. I know a little bit about the theory of poker, but I've never sat down and dominated a table in real play. The fact is, I was inclined to dismiss the advice because I found it so elementary, and this is a bad thing. First off, a poker expert would welcome a revisiting of basic poker principles because they don't take any reinforcement of the basics for granted. They're just as important, if not more so, than the more advanced strategies.
And, more importantly, my initial reaction smacks of the fear I spoke of earlier. Even internally, I was remiss to acknowledge how little I really knew about poker. I think we all do this...we're hesitant to admit, especially to ourselves, just how little we really know. We'd like to think because we've suffered the agonies of high school, crammed our way through college, and spent a few years at some shitty real-world job that we know everything. This is understandable...my ego does protect me in a lot of cases, and it gets me out of bed each morning. It makes sense that it would try and convince me that I know everything about everything.
But real experts know their limits. They know what they don't know, and that's a large component of being an expert. It's a prerequisite to mastering any discipline: having that moment of clarity, when it dawns on you just how much you don't know. With that comes the humility to ask for help when you need it.
Okay, so this "Hello!" entry I decided to write ended up devolving into something that sounds like dialogue from an upcoming Karate Kid movie. My overall point is that I've been touching upon a lot of subjects about which I know very little, and I often find that when I start thinking about different topics, I want to explore them, and that's what I want to do on here. Talk about stuff. I'm eternally grateful that I've outgrown the phase in my life when I felt compelled to write about girls I had crushes on and stuff, a la the middle school years. My hope is that the topics will be slightly more sufferable.
Cheers!