Fantasizing about Women
I have a 13-year-old cousin who loves the works of J.R.R. Tolkien, most notably the Lord of the Rings series of books. She's gone so far as to teach herself the language that Tolkien invented for his characters, which is called Sindarin. This makes sense because, when she was younger, she was possessed by one of the most vivid imaginations I had ever encountered in a child. She didn't grow up watching any television. Yet, at the age of seven, I remember her describing a world of imaginary creatures she had devised in her head, and she was explaining to me a narrative she had concocted concerning a genocide that had happened in one of them. Mouths of babes, indeed.
We were talking about the books in the Rings series, which I haven't read, versus Peter Jackson's movies, which neither of us have seen. She was telling me about the problem with turning fantasy books into movies. The argument was simple: fantasy fiction is written to fire up the reader's imagination, so any reduction to the silver screen is defeating the whole purpose of creating a world that is larger than life. Despite the extensive and gorgeous computer imagery that Hollywood is capable of in this day and age, the visuals themselves destroy what the annals of fantasy are supposed to give to the reader.
I've never been a fan of the fantasy genre; I've always felt that I have far too much to learn in my single lifetime about the real world that I inhabit. Trying to make sense of an imaginary world populated by hobbits seems like a waste of mental energies, especially since I don't really find such things entertaining.
I happen to agree with my cousin on this point. I'm not saying that the Jackson movies should never have been made; I really can't be a Tolkien purist. But I would read the books before I ever chose to see the movies, because the point of the Rings series is, like any fantasy, to set the imagination on fire.
Shortly after having this conversation, I became aware of the work of Anita Sarkeesian. For those who don't know, she started a video series designed to raise awareness of the highly sexualized manner in which women are portrayed in video games. She's comes under heavy criticism for the video series from both men and women. These rebukes range in severity from mere commentary about inconsistencies in her arguments to the utterly insane threats of violence. I've watched a few of her videos. While I don't know enough about the feminist movement yet to offer an informed criticism of the quality of her arguments, I can offer my own opinion as a man.
I rarely play video games. I typically play puzzle games, like Tetris or (for a brief time in college) the old chestnut that was known as Snood. MarioKart has been a constant mainstay in my repertoire as it's evolved along with Nintendo's consoles. Games that feature realistic human characters have never really interested me, but I have encountered enough of them that I've formulated a few opinions about them.
The increasing realism with which all characters are portrayed in video games has always creeped me out. Video game designers have thus far avoided the uncanny valley, the chasm between the real and the fake depictions of human beings that people find psychologically alarming. I wasn't aware of this until Sarkeesian pointed it out in one of her videos, but the manner in which women are portrayed disturbs me. It's not really a shock that the female characters are designed to embody uncommon or impossibly high standards of beauty; many of the male characters are heavily muscled in way that I'll never be. Rather, it's the fact that these women are clothed in a way that shows off their bodies, while the men remain covered. Further, the movements of the female characters within the game are highly sexualized; their hips swing and their breasts bounce in an exaggerated fashion.
Now, I'm a man, so I'm not going to claim to be an angel. I know just as well as any man that sense of sitting in a public place, suddenly becoming aware of a woman who just entered your peripheral field of view, and your eyes dart reflexively over to look at her. So often, you feel that sense of disappointment when you realize that your peripheral vision didn't give you the whole story: she's with her boyfriend or husband, she has a wedding ring on, or she's several decades older than your peripheral impression might have led you to believe.
So while I'm not going to assert that I don't objectify women, I've never acted on such objectification. I have never pursued some kind of sexual relations or romance with any woman based on appearances alone. For me, the energy expenditure required of pursuing sex with a woman is too high to operate capriciously; the sexual act must invariably be tied up in something more substantial. I will only choose to go after a woman if I get a distinct sense from her actions or words that she has a good heart, and I've assessed that the prospects of emotional commitment have a good chance of being healthy for each of us.
I might see a woman in public, find her attractive, and get the sense that she's "available", but the thoughts of approaching her are clouded by questions that run through my head are: Why her? Why is she worth my time and effort? How am I worth her time and effort? I almost never have any good answers for any of these questions, so I almost never act on my first impressions. It's not that I marry every woman I'm attracted to in my head, but for whatever reason, I'm aware that approaching any stranger, man or woman, is simply unlikely to lead magically to what I might shallowly hope for in my head. I'd like to be friends with some of these strangers. Perhaps I'd like to date some of them. My expectations are always tempered by a keen awareness of my ignorance of the narrative that comprises the other person, and that, in all probability, our narratives are unlikely to overlap constructively.
So, a cartoonish woman in a video game who's acting in a sexualized way that supposed to arouse my male curiosities has always, on some subconscious level in my head, horrified me. We're not talking about a real human being of flesh and blood who has feelings, but rather some digital creation that exists in a fake world. Sexual anthropomorphizing of such a fake thing that's supposed to represent a woman simply alarms me, and it's always led me to turn away from watching footage of these games in disgust. It feels like manipulation of my most basic humanity.
I've always been ambivalent about the "television is evil" debate; there's probably more effective uses of your time than watching TV, but I never felt strongly enough about any aspect of it to decry it outright. I still can't say television is evil, and I've always known that it's possible for television to portray human beings, including females, in a manner that simply doesn't gel with reality, but I'm only just now starting to believe that passively viewing portrayals of women indiscriminately via television might be hurting me.
I thought back to the conversation that I had with my young cousin about Tolkien's great epic, and I realized that this sense I had about video games probably applies to all forms of media. We are not to accept the imagery of Tolkien's world or characters as it has been visualized for us in the movies, and should instead allow our minds to paint our own images of them based on textual descriptions. Perhaps it is the same for men viewing renditions of women; the question arises as to what point any given rendition is dangerously misleading the thoughts in a man's head.
I suspect this is a manner of degrees for each heterosexual man. I couldn't bring myself to be comfortable with the fake women in video games, but many men can. I can be comfortable with the fake women in movies and TV shows, and the fake women in the books I read, but I'm sure that some men cannot. Why is this line different for other men? Why has this line always existed in one place in my head and not another? Where should the line exist? Can I move the line in my head if I need to, and how could I do that?
Objectification of a woman is unhealthy for a man when it's about seeing the woman as a thing to which things can be done, instead of seeing the woman as an autonomous person with feelings who is capable of doing things. When a man treats a woman this way, it's harmful not only to both the man and the woman, but to the relationship between them. A man who dehumanizes another woman by sexually objectifying her cannot do so without destroying some part of his own humanity.
We were talking about the books in the Rings series, which I haven't read, versus Peter Jackson's movies, which neither of us have seen. She was telling me about the problem with turning fantasy books into movies. The argument was simple: fantasy fiction is written to fire up the reader's imagination, so any reduction to the silver screen is defeating the whole purpose of creating a world that is larger than life. Despite the extensive and gorgeous computer imagery that Hollywood is capable of in this day and age, the visuals themselves destroy what the annals of fantasy are supposed to give to the reader.
I've never been a fan of the fantasy genre; I've always felt that I have far too much to learn in my single lifetime about the real world that I inhabit. Trying to make sense of an imaginary world populated by hobbits seems like a waste of mental energies, especially since I don't really find such things entertaining.
I happen to agree with my cousin on this point. I'm not saying that the Jackson movies should never have been made; I really can't be a Tolkien purist. But I would read the books before I ever chose to see the movies, because the point of the Rings series is, like any fantasy, to set the imagination on fire.
Shortly after having this conversation, I became aware of the work of Anita Sarkeesian. For those who don't know, she started a video series designed to raise awareness of the highly sexualized manner in which women are portrayed in video games. She's comes under heavy criticism for the video series from both men and women. These rebukes range in severity from mere commentary about inconsistencies in her arguments to the utterly insane threats of violence. I've watched a few of her videos. While I don't know enough about the feminist movement yet to offer an informed criticism of the quality of her arguments, I can offer my own opinion as a man.
I rarely play video games. I typically play puzzle games, like Tetris or (for a brief time in college) the old chestnut that was known as Snood. MarioKart has been a constant mainstay in my repertoire as it's evolved along with Nintendo's consoles. Games that feature realistic human characters have never really interested me, but I have encountered enough of them that I've formulated a few opinions about them.
The increasing realism with which all characters are portrayed in video games has always creeped me out. Video game designers have thus far avoided the uncanny valley, the chasm between the real and the fake depictions of human beings that people find psychologically alarming. I wasn't aware of this until Sarkeesian pointed it out in one of her videos, but the manner in which women are portrayed disturbs me. It's not really a shock that the female characters are designed to embody uncommon or impossibly high standards of beauty; many of the male characters are heavily muscled in way that I'll never be. Rather, it's the fact that these women are clothed in a way that shows off their bodies, while the men remain covered. Further, the movements of the female characters within the game are highly sexualized; their hips swing and their breasts bounce in an exaggerated fashion.
Now, I'm a man, so I'm not going to claim to be an angel. I know just as well as any man that sense of sitting in a public place, suddenly becoming aware of a woman who just entered your peripheral field of view, and your eyes dart reflexively over to look at her. So often, you feel that sense of disappointment when you realize that your peripheral vision didn't give you the whole story: she's with her boyfriend or husband, she has a wedding ring on, or she's several decades older than your peripheral impression might have led you to believe.
So while I'm not going to assert that I don't objectify women, I've never acted on such objectification. I have never pursued some kind of sexual relations or romance with any woman based on appearances alone. For me, the energy expenditure required of pursuing sex with a woman is too high to operate capriciously; the sexual act must invariably be tied up in something more substantial. I will only choose to go after a woman if I get a distinct sense from her actions or words that she has a good heart, and I've assessed that the prospects of emotional commitment have a good chance of being healthy for each of us.
I might see a woman in public, find her attractive, and get the sense that she's "available", but the thoughts of approaching her are clouded by questions that run through my head are: Why her? Why is she worth my time and effort? How am I worth her time and effort? I almost never have any good answers for any of these questions, so I almost never act on my first impressions. It's not that I marry every woman I'm attracted to in my head, but for whatever reason, I'm aware that approaching any stranger, man or woman, is simply unlikely to lead magically to what I might shallowly hope for in my head. I'd like to be friends with some of these strangers. Perhaps I'd like to date some of them. My expectations are always tempered by a keen awareness of my ignorance of the narrative that comprises the other person, and that, in all probability, our narratives are unlikely to overlap constructively.
So, a cartoonish woman in a video game who's acting in a sexualized way that supposed to arouse my male curiosities has always, on some subconscious level in my head, horrified me. We're not talking about a real human being of flesh and blood who has feelings, but rather some digital creation that exists in a fake world. Sexual anthropomorphizing of such a fake thing that's supposed to represent a woman simply alarms me, and it's always led me to turn away from watching footage of these games in disgust. It feels like manipulation of my most basic humanity.
I've always been ambivalent about the "television is evil" debate; there's probably more effective uses of your time than watching TV, but I never felt strongly enough about any aspect of it to decry it outright. I still can't say television is evil, and I've always known that it's possible for television to portray human beings, including females, in a manner that simply doesn't gel with reality, but I'm only just now starting to believe that passively viewing portrayals of women indiscriminately via television might be hurting me.
I thought back to the conversation that I had with my young cousin about Tolkien's great epic, and I realized that this sense I had about video games probably applies to all forms of media. We are not to accept the imagery of Tolkien's world or characters as it has been visualized for us in the movies, and should instead allow our minds to paint our own images of them based on textual descriptions. Perhaps it is the same for men viewing renditions of women; the question arises as to what point any given rendition is dangerously misleading the thoughts in a man's head.
I suspect this is a manner of degrees for each heterosexual man. I couldn't bring myself to be comfortable with the fake women in video games, but many men can. I can be comfortable with the fake women in movies and TV shows, and the fake women in the books I read, but I'm sure that some men cannot. Why is this line different for other men? Why has this line always existed in one place in my head and not another? Where should the line exist? Can I move the line in my head if I need to, and how could I do that?
Objectification of a woman is unhealthy for a man when it's about seeing the woman as a thing to which things can be done, instead of seeing the woman as an autonomous person with feelings who is capable of doing things. When a man treats a woman this way, it's harmful not only to both the man and the woman, but to the relationship between them. A man who dehumanizes another woman by sexually objectifying her cannot do so without destroying some part of his own humanity.