An Ear for Change
When was the last time you changed your mind about something significant?
Take a moment to think about it, because the answer isn't quite as straightforward as it might seem. We like to think that we're rational creatures who change our minds when we're presented with better information or facts. But this ignores the fact that we're human, and that we have ego issues.
I can remember the last few times I changed my mind about something very significant, and there's one element common to all of them: I was listened to.
Someone asked me my opinion about something, and they let me spew it out at them, without interrupting, and without any judgment. The second part is important, because when we sense we're being judged, we get defensive, and the problem with defense is that it's static. To make an unbudging mountain of a man, tell him he's wrong.
But when we talk things through to others who listen to our story, and occasionally drop a well-placed, thoughtful question, we're actually pretty capable of talking ourselves out of our own beliefs. Maybe not immediately, but it can get the ball rolling in the right direction.
And so, I listen, because people need that to arrive at their own truths. Usually, I don't perceive see this as an inconvenience...last time I checked, I don't have all the answers anyway.
Take a moment to think about it, because the answer isn't quite as straightforward as it might seem. We like to think that we're rational creatures who change our minds when we're presented with better information or facts. But this ignores the fact that we're human, and that we have ego issues.
I can remember the last few times I changed my mind about something very significant, and there's one element common to all of them: I was listened to.
Someone asked me my opinion about something, and they let me spew it out at them, without interrupting, and without any judgment. The second part is important, because when we sense we're being judged, we get defensive, and the problem with defense is that it's static. To make an unbudging mountain of a man, tell him he's wrong.
But when we talk things through to others who listen to our story, and occasionally drop a well-placed, thoughtful question, we're actually pretty capable of talking ourselves out of our own beliefs. Maybe not immediately, but it can get the ball rolling in the right direction.
And so, I listen, because people need that to arrive at their own truths. Usually, I don't perceive see this as an inconvenience...last time I checked, I don't have all the answers anyway.