Whenever we're in social situations with strangers, like at parties or seated on a plane, the first question we tend to ask one another is "What do you do?" This is surprisingly pervasive in our culture, and I'm told that it's a less common question to ask in other places in the world. The implication, of course, is that we're defined in large part by what we choose to do for a living.

The problem with this is that I remember being 19, in college, and a college advisor put his proverbial gun to my head and ordered me to pick a major, lest I not graduate in four years' time. This at a time when I had barely figured out who I was or where I fit into the world, and I was supposed to decide what to do with the rest of my life. Talk about pressure. I've spoken to lots of people since then who have told me they had a very similar experience. So how is it that a decision made by many people in haste, out of necessity, is something that we let determine who we are?

It's a good first question to ask strangers: What do you do when you're not at work? That question tends to get people talking enthusiastically, and the answers are almost always more interesting than those to questions about work. Sure, I do meet people who like what they do for a living, and that's pretty refreshing when it happens, but there's usually more passion in what people are doing in their off hours.

Are you delighted to talk about the work you do when you aren't at work? It's a good question to ask yourself on a Monday morning as we get back to the grind.

(P.S. Friday the 13th is supposed to be unlucky...does that mean Monday the 13th is lucky?)